What Blake Lively doesn't understand about the internet
Grab your friends and your florals, it's time for some online backlash
Content warning one: This edition frequently talks about domestic violence in the context of the film It Ends With Us.
Content warning two: This is a long post so hit the “View in browser” or “Read in app” button for a seamless experience.
When the actress Blake Lively first started getting dragged online for how she went about promoting her new film It Ends With Us, I did not engage. At first glance it felt like the sort of snark women in the public eye endure all day every day.
Some were unimpressed by Lively’s commitment to floral dresses on the press tour, there were reports of a fallout amongst the cast, while others bitched that Lively had the audacity to release a hair care range considering she was ‘known for having dry hair’. As I hadn’t given the Gossip Girl star’s split ends a second thought I scrolled on by.
But the noise got louder and louder and by the middle of the week Lively was in the grip of a full-blown personal PR crisis.
My interest piqued because I live for messy drama. And sure enough, Lively is very much embroiled in a great deal of messy drama, and unfortunately for her, it’s the reputation-crushing variety.
Because the furore appears to be of her own making very few have sympathy. In fact it’s given some the cover to air long held grievances, but more on that later.
Lively’s troubles began around three weeks ago when she embarked on the press blitz for It Ends With Us. The film is adapted from the uber popular, and controversial, Colleen Hoover novel of the same name.
Lively hadn’t promoted a movie since 2018, when she starred in A Simple Favour, and it showed. The world, and social media, has changed dramatically since then and it seems she didn’t get the memo. The end result is that Lively fell foul of four laws of the internet, giving millions the ick and trashing her reputation in the process.
1. The vibes were off
It Ends With Us has domestic violence riven through its plot, but few would have guessed that after observing the lighthearted Lively-led press tour for the movie.
The film’s marketing chiefs appear to have thought that they could exploit the same playful, positive-vibes-only tactics used by last summer’s smash-hit, Barbie, seemingly ignoring that it’s a wholly unsuitable strategy for a film about an abusive relationship.
From the press tour wardrobe theme of floral patterns, because Lively plays a florist named Lily Bloom, to the actress urging people on TikTok to “grab your friends and your florals” and head to cinemas, the tone was at odds with the film’s central theme, and audiences could see the disconnect a mile off.
Throughout most the the press tour Lively appeared reluctant to discuss domestic violence, often answering questions in a way that emphasised the lead character’s attributes beyond being a victim, and arguing that women can hold “multitudes”. She told the BBC: “This movie covers domestic violence, but what's important about this film is that she is not just a survivor and she's not just a victim and while those are huge things to be, they're not her identity.”
She makes valid points about how women are often defined by events that happen to them, as opposed to who they are, but to many survivors of abuse Lively’s responses came off as if she was avoiding tackling the film’s central theme head on.
Observers sensed that Lively wanted to keep the tone fun, much like Hoover who has been criticised for focusing on serious subjects in her books but writing about them in a “bubbly” way. In doing so Lively repeated the same mistake, but to a much larger audience.
Her biggest faux pas came in a now viral interview with Jake Hamilton of Jake’s Takes when she answered a question about giving advice to domestic violence survivors in a bizarre and sarcastic way.
“If someone understands the themes of this movie, comes across you in public, and they wanna really talk to you, what’s the best way for them to be able to talk to you about this? How would you recommend they go about it?, Hamilton asks.
“Like, asking for my address, or my phone number, or, like, location share?” she replies. Before adding “I’m a Virgo, so like, are we talking logistics, are we talking emotionally?,” before finally addressing the question.
Lively’s response was so off even her co-star Brandon Sklenar couldn’t hide his cringe. See below for the moment he wanted the couch to swallow him up.
Then there was a Girl Talk video filmed in Lively’s New York City apartment that brought together Hoover and co-stars Isabela Ferrer and Jenny Slate to talk about astrology and dream jobs. The flippant themes were then compounded when Lively wrapped up the video that was posted to her Instagram by saying: “We talked about our movie not at all, thanks for joining us in theatres August 9th.”
The feedback on Lively’s glib tone came thick and fast, and directly to her account…
Lively’s repeated attempts to play down the domestic violence theme has sat in stark contrast with her co-star, and the film’s director, Justin Baldoni. He focussed many of his interviews on the subject of abuse and their different approaches may stem from, or have caused, a widely reported rift between him and the rest of the cast. For those critical of Lively, Baldoni’s advocacy proves their point perfectly. It’s possible to promote a film that has a dark subject at its heart in a serious way.
For reasons that I’m sure she now regrets Lively kept the vibes fun and to coin a current viral term “cutesy”. It’s everything many domestic violence survivors did not want and they haven’t held back from telling her. For others the vibes were so at odds with the film’s theme it diminished their trust in the campaign and left them wondering what they were being sold and why they were being misdirected.
2. She did too much
Whether you agree with the vibes of Lively’s promo tour or not, it’s impossible to argue that she wasn’t fully committed to marketing the heck out of It Ends With Us. But she was also dedicated to layer in her other interests too, and that’s where she also lost the room.
Just as the press tour was getting started Lively launched her new venture, a hair care range called Blake Brown. Using the prestigious cover of Vogue’s September issue to showcase the range, it was a loud launch.
Gracing Vogue’s biggest issue is usually seen as a coup but in this case the timing was seen as crass, and it did not go unnoticed by commentators on Lively’s Instagram.
Many were left feeling that she’d leveraged her role in a film about domestic violence to further her own commercial interests, and that was before she started hawking her other products from her beverage companies Betty Buzz and Betty Booze.
“When your company throws a florist themed party for your movie” read the caption that accompanied pictures of Lively posing amongst flowers and beverage cans at a Betty Booze bash.
And then there was the insertion of husband Ryan Reynolds into proceedings. Just before her press tour she helped out on his promo tour for Deadpool and Wolverine. He then returned the favour by appearing in a mock interview with her co-star. The flippant tone of the bit was again in opposition with the film’s themes and given everything else came off as weird promotion for them as a power couple.
3. The aesthetics were cringe
I passionately disagree that celebrities should be damned because of their style choices, but the reality is that women in the public eye are ruthlessly judged for it. And in order to be seen as relevant there is an expectation that they should be wowing us with their looks whenever they step out.
Meme accounts from taste-making gay men are particularly influential in determining whether a female star is killing it in the fashion and style department. They particularly reward women who opt for fierce and bold looks, or as they would put it, those who are “serving cunt”.
The actress who is frequently lauded in this way, and as a result has an outsized and wholly positive presence online, is Zendaya. Many commentators view her as the one who sets the standard for event dressing by working with acclaimed stylist Law Roach to put together fashion forward looks that can not be ignored.
Lively on the other hand styles herself and leans towards classic silhouettes, feminine dresses, bodycon and bright colours. The floral theme of the promo tour not only drew criticism for being shallow, it also prompted mockery from wardrobe watchers.
The Cut dedicated a whole post to the question “Why Is Blake Lively Dressing Like This?” and wondered what she was thinking when she stepped out with a “bedazzled mushroom purse”. Their piece included comments from platforms like Twitter/X, like this one…
It’s possible that if Lively had impressed with her styling then the praise may have drowned out the heavy criticism that surrounded the floral theme. That’s not how it should be but it certainly is how it is.
4. She did not course correct
When it comes to reputation management it’s vital to right a sinking ship as soon as possible. Speed is key because as soon as negative momentum builds around a public figure it’s an open invite to anyone who has a cross to bear to pile on. And that’s exactly what happened to Lively.
As the narrative grew that Lively was a difficult interviewee, the journalist Kjersti Flaa resurfaced a 2016 interview she did with Lively when she was promoting Cafe Society. She said in the caption that accompanied her YouTube post that it was, “the most uncomfortable interview situation I have ever experienced”.
It’s difficult to watch the footage and feel anything but sympathy for Flaa. She begins by saying to Lively, who was pregnant with her second child: “First of all, congrats on your little bump.” Lively quickly, and sarcastically, responds to Flaa: “Congrats on your little bump.”
Flaa then asks about the movie’s costumes and Lively responds by asking if she would ask the men about their costumes. Flaa replies: "I would." Then Lively and her co-star Parker Posey start discussing the men’s costumes between themselves practically freezing out Flaa.
The video has been watched nearly three million times on YouTube alone and continues to haunt Lively with Flaa revealing that the “little bump” clap back was particularly bruising because she can’t conceive.
The end result is that Lively has now been branded a mean girl while Flaa is seen by some as a hero for the “perfect” timing of the video’s release.
From a PR perspective it is Lively’s darkest hour and yet It End With Us is crushing it at the box office. On Friday it was reported that the film had crossed the $100 million mark globally in its first week. It’s hard to tell whether this is because of the drama or if it would have delivered anyway given the popularity of the book.
What’s for sure is that Lively needs a new publicity team - and one that understands how the internet works - ASAP.
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Great summary and analysis - I’m completely with you on Lively’s miscalculated PR moves.
I do wonder a bit about the appropriateness of the interviewer’s question: ““If someone understands the themes of this movie, comes across you in public, and they wanna really talk to you, what’s the best way for them to be able to talk to you about this? How would you recommend they go about it?, Hamilton asks.”
Is it reasonable to expect an actor to welcome and respond to random people just coming up to them in public or trying to DM them, wanting to discuss DV? More importantly, how likely is it that advice from an actor is going to be appropriate support for the person who might be asking?
In most cases, actors are performers, not experts on the topic whose opinions and advice should be trusted.
The better answer would seem to be for actors to refer people to an expert, trustworthy source of guidance about DV. The idea of an interviewer encouraging people to rely on an actor for advice about an issue as serious as DV seems misguided.
At first watch, I thought the interview with Flaa was cringe and terrible on Blake’s part but upon second watch, I was wondering if Blake had just done multiple interviews where the very first questions she was asked were not about her acting or role but about her pregnancy and costumes (the latter which she had no agency in likely). Maybe it caught her at a bad, frustrated time.
And then for the interviewer to release for the sole purpose of stirring up more hate for this woman… idk that ALSO seems like a mean girl move but more calculated, a move years in the making.